THE ADVENTURES OF BARTMAN!!!
Chief Clancy Wiggum, Lou and Eddie are out on patrol on a dark and gloomy night in Springfield. Wiggum has cravings for the new Double Krusty Burger.
Wiggum orders “I’ll have two Krusty Double Burger’s with Cheese, fries and a litre of cola.”Only to find static on the speakers at the drive thru.
He repeats this several times before accidently discharging his weapon and shooting Lou in the foot. On closer inspection the Krusty Burger joint is empty, not an employee or customer in sight. In pain, Lou needs ice for his wound. So Chief Wiggum being the hero he is climbs in through the drive thru window, after struggling up on Eddie’s shoulders, gets stuck in the window before falling through and bouncing on the vinyl floor. He then looks up to see Krusty’s monkey, Bubbles, tied up under the counter with a banana jammed in his mouth and a note scribbled in ketchup on the floor.
As the note comes into focus, Sideshow Bob’s voice begins to read... “The Laughter has been turned to tears, the clown is gone, so you must fear, he will not be returning from his isle of grease. Don’t track me down or you’ll end up in piece...s.... SB”
Wiggum onto it in a flash, books tickets to Greece. All the while Eddie and the monkey are bandaging Lou’s foot.
The scene cuts to Krusty being tormented over a pit of Krusty Burgers. The shot zooms out to show that Krusty is not in Greece but in fact in the newest establishment in the Krusty Burger Chain...”Krusty Burger Alcatraz”
Scene cuts again to Wiggum, Lou, Eddie and the monkey hopping off a plane in the Greek islands to begin searching the local night club life to find Krusty. Fades out when Wiggum takes off his Blue Police shirt, waving it around his head and dancing.
Krusty is in trouble....Barney wanders into Krusty Burger Springfield after a night out at Moe’s. He sees the note and immediately signals for help.
The Krusty doll next to Bart’s bed starts to flash calling Bartman to action. He leaps out of his bed in his pyjamas, climbs across to the tree house and slides down the tree to the Bartcave (nothing more than a hollow in the tree with a shiny green skateboard). He puts on the tight purple and grey outfit and jumps on the skateboard, skating off into the distance.
Barmarnt pulls up to a stop at the Van Houtens’ house. Milhouse is fast asleep in bed, cuddling his Malibu Stacey. Bartman taps on the window. Milhouse stirs and puts on his glasses to see Bartman silhouetted against the moon. Instantaneously Milhouse jumps to action, slips on his outfit, jumps out the window, uncovers a red bicycle (with training wheels) and joins Bartman.
Cuts back to Wiggum dancing the night away. Lou pipes up from across the bar “Ahhh Chief, I don’t think Krusty is in Greece, the monkey tells me he is afraid to fly” pointing to Bubbles who has had far too many Banana coladas.
Sometime later.....
Bartman and Milhouse pull up to a rickety old wharf in stormy weather to find the Sea Captain operating the ferry to Alcatraz. “Gharrrr, where you be heading me matey’s??” Bartman points to the island in the distance. Milhouse begins shaking, begging to go back to Springfield. Bartman exclaims there is no way Sideshow Bob can take away his hero. They set off on the boat across the stormy seas.
When they dock on the island they see a flashlight coming down to meet them. It is night patrolman Flanders “Hideli Hodeli Caped Crusaderino”... Flanders then explains how since the passing of Maud he has had to take on extra work to cover Todd and Rod’s tuition.
Tracking up the dark path, bats flutter past. Mihouse still shaking closely follows Bartman. To their surprise Sideshow Mel (Krusty’s able assistant) jumps out from the bushes flanked by Jimbo, Kearny and Dolph. The school bullies. They attack. Bartman jumps into action. They fight. Bam! Pow! Kapow! The duo overpower their attackers and continue up the path.
They finally arrive at the base of Krusty Burger Alcatraz, and break in through the unlocked basement window. After several scenes showing Bartman and Milhouse searching through storage rooms, behind the counter and in the dining area, they decide to head into the smoking section and up the Krusty Tower. Peering through the key hole they see Sideshow Bob standing over Krusty passed out with the contents of a Krusty Burger next to him on the floor.
They enter the room. Sideshow Bob explains that Krusty has been stealing the jokes of others for many years and he could not take it anymore. Even the new Double Krusty Burger recipe wasn’t Krusty’s own work. Bartman and Sideshow Bob duel, with swords, guns and finally Bartman pulls out his slingshot, and shoots Bob square between the eyes. All the while Milhouse tries to revive Krusty.
Fades to black, then blazing sunshine as Chief Wigam, Lou and Eddie drag Sideshow Bob out of the Krusty tower. Bob steps on a rake, which hits him in the nose. Wigam finally states “Book him Lou”
Fades to Black. Credits roll.
Great stuff Nathan. I think your fanfiction did a relatively good job of staying true to the characters from the source material. I was however left a little confused with the structure of your story, it's set in the third-person but you've also got elements of script annotations, so that has kind of left me confused as to whether this is a third-person narrative or a script written for an episode of the series.
ReplyDeleteThe other point I'd to make is related to the general flow of the story, overall it seems to be interupted a lot through the use of brackets as annotations to the reader. However I thought your use of rhyme and onomatopoeia was very clever and I also applaud you for creating a very entertaining read.
You started off quite well with some descriptive language of the scene and characters with cool things like the rhyming message left behind. The start was all third person but like Kevin said you changed to a script writer point of view and then back to third person again which is quite confusing and interrupts the flow of your fanfic.
ReplyDeleteI think it was good that you didn't make up or introduce any new characters and kept them true to form on the TV show as the word limit would make that very hard to do.
The story is still easily understandable even with the point of view changes and I can easily imagine the characters and their voices and interactions in the fanfic. It could be made into an actual Bartman episode quite convincingly in my opinion.
Thanks for your critiques and feedback. I used script language such as the scene cuts in an attempt to make the fanfiction easy to visualise for the readers as a Simpson’s episode rather than just a story. I have also tried to base the characters, description of them and their dialogue as they would appear in the animated series, making it simple to relate back to the Simpsons TV animated series. Hope you have enjoyed it.
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